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Top Ten Hottest Cartoon Characters

By no means is Gunaxin the first to compile this list, but after seeing that skank Betty Boop on so many other lists I had to compile one of my own.

10. Colette Tatou – Ratatouille

Gotta put a French chick on this list. It’s great how she yells and argues and cooks, and looks hot while doing it. However, I puked like Stephen Rea in The Crying Game when I found out that Janeane Garofalo voices her. To think, they make a movie about a rat with Garofalo in it, and she’s the hot one.

9. Jessica Rabbit – Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Jessica is No. 1 on everyone else’s list, but this overdrawn buxom freak is really only worth mentioning here because she was created specifically to top lists like this, and that doesn’t earn points with me, folks. Plus, she gets it on with a rabbit, which is downright disgusting. But at the same time, not mentioning her would bring a chorus of boos amongst you perverted band of internet geeks. If you must see more pictures of Jessica Rabbit, go for it you perv.

8. Princess Fiona – Shrek

Just to be clear, I’m talking about Princess Fiona before she becomes an ogre. Unfortunately, she really only looks this way in the first Shrek before morphing into a hideous beast that ain’t hot. It’s no coincidence that she looks a bit like Cameron Diaz with auburn hair. She loses points because underneath that perfect body, she is whats she is.

7. Ariel – The Little Mermaid

Now, remember that there’s two versions of her, the half fish and the full human. I personally prefer the human version, the one that doesn’t talk (because she gave up her voice for her legs), but to each his own.

6. Tinkerbell – Peter Pan

She’s hot, she flies, and she doesn’t talk. Now only if we can get her to cook like Collette, we’re all set. However, she’s the jealous type, obsessed with her weight, and demands attention. She loses points, though, because she’s so small, and that would be fun for like, only a few minutes before you’re wishing she’d get bigger.

5. Belle – Beauty and the Beast

A bit of a nerd – okay, a complete nerd – but she’s my type. The smart bookworm type. Loses points because ultimately she falls in love with a hideous beast. Which might mean that I have a shot.

4. Esmeralda – Hunchback of Notre Dame

So I picked two French chicks, wanna fight about it? This one is cool because she’s a dancing gypsy, and she’s normal because she doesn’t fall in love with Quasimodo.

3. Jasmine – Aladdin

If I were a cartoon, I’d convert to whatever religion they have out there and wrap my head up to get with this girl. Even the evil Jasmine looks hot. Yeah, she’s a princess, so she’s a bit spoiled, but with a body like that, who cares?

2. Judy Jetson – The Jetsons

Jetson is the ultimate teenage girl you always wanted to ask out. She’s not the best drawn character on this list but she has a great personality, and you can tell that if Pixar got a hold of her, she’d be a heck of a lot prettier. Her mom, Jane, ain’t bad, either. The only problem is you’ve gotta put up with her snotty little brother Elroy, and that annoying pooch, Astro.

1. Mirage – The Incredibles

No one expected this one, huh? So far, Pixar has not had many hot women in its films, but when it does, it really does. This chick starts off as a bad guy, but later in the film turns into a good guy. And that’s just cool, folks. And seriously, if you imagine every woman on this list hanging out with you, who would you pick besides this one?

Notes: Contrary to popular belief, these cartoon characters are NOT HOT: Betty Rubble, Daphne from Scooby Doo. She-Ra and Wonder Woman (too muscular). Smurfette. Cinderella, Princess Aurora, Snow White, Rapunzel. Striperella. Rosie O’Donnel.

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