Sinestro : The Stupidest Superhero Movie Character Ever

sinestroWith a whole slew of Superhero movies set to be released this summer, we wanted to go back and take a look at the most idiotic character they’ve ever spawned; Sinestro from the god-awful Green Lantern Movie.

Now we know we’re risking a (deserved) never-ending barrage of testicle punches for bringing up the dog turd that is this movie and that attacking it is like beating the long forgotten grave of a dead horse, but with the Green Lantern’s presence in the Justice League movie being all but certainty, we felt like we couldn’t not mention this. Obviously, this article has spoilers.

Now if you watched the movie all the way to the end, first of all, kudos. There are no doubt countless boyfriends out there who were forced to watch the Twilight movies who’d love to learn your secret to tolerating terrible movies. Second of all, you probably saw this scene in which (SPOILER) Sinestro puts on the Yellow Lantern ring.

Now here at Gunaxin, we’re proud of being in the know about all things men’s interest, and comics are no exception. So we’re obviously aware that this is a nod to the Sinestro Corps, an off shoot of the Lantern Corps fronted by a rogue Sinestro that used fear as their weapon instead of willpower.

Within the comic that makes perfect sense, in the movie however, not so much. Confused? Allow us to explain. Right, so in the movie it’s explained that the Lantern Corps use willpower as their weapon, using their power rings they’re able to construct anything they can imagine, the only limit is their own imagination and willpower.

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So I made a small stabbing object.

Sinestro spends the entire movie talking about how will is stronger than fear. When a giant evil floating cloud called Parallax (who uses fear as his power instead of will) appears, Sinestro recalls the time that Parallax, using fear, murdered a dozen Green Lanterns without trying by laser barfing them all into skeletons.

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How do you stop an enemy that vomits fear?

So that settles it, fear is better than will, that’s why Sinestro puts on the yellow ring, well not exactly. Maybe in the comics Sinestro thinks fear is more powerful, but in the movie, that’s kind of bullshit.

You see, Sinestro makes two things very clear, that Parallax fear-raped a squad of the finest warriors he’d ever seen and that Ryan Reynolds is a terrible Green Lantern. However, later in the film, Ryan Reynolds, using nothing but sheer force of will is able to single-handedly defeat the same force that took out a group of the supposed best warriors in the universe. The fact he does this by punching it in the face with a giant fist is the icing on the cake, take that infinite evil.

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Take it hard.

That’s one man, one man from a supposedly inferior race using nothing but will and less than a week of training taking on a creature that is currently using the combined fear of the entire world to power itself. And Sinestro sees this. He sees one man take out literally the strongest user of fear in the entire universe using nothing but will and what does he do after seeing unquestionable evidence that will is superior to fear, the same thing he himself said at the start of the movie.

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Just the tip.

He puts on the fucking yellow ring! It’s explained that this was to set up Sinestro as a villain for the next movie if it ever came to fruition. But how would that even work?

Would it involve Sinestro being curb stomped by Ryan Reynolds for half an hour, wondering how the guy who categorically defeated fear in the last movie was defeating him in this one? Or would it just be both characters exchanging “are you retarded” looks for 120 minutes while glowing green and yellow CGI fists punched skyscrapers in the foreground? Actually that sounds awesome, Sinestro, you might be stupid, but damn do you know what people want from movies.

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