Who Would Win? Balrog vs. Rancor

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It was established in a Gunaxin poll that the Star Wars AT-AT Imperial Walker would defeat the Mûmakil from Lord of the Rings in a head-to-head fight. But that fight wasn’t completely fair because the AT-AT has guns and isn’t even alive. So in this installment of SW vs. LOTR, we’ll match up Fellowship of the Ring’s Balrog with Return of the Jedi’s Rancor. First, we’ll take a glimpse at each character, then you can VOTE AT THE BOTTOM FOR WHO WILL WIN.

The Rancor

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Wookieepedia defines the Rancor as…

Rancors were large carnivorous reptomammals originating from the planet of Dathomir.

That’s one of the stupidest things I’ve ever read. If it weren’t for the expanded universe nonsense, we’d know Rancors to be large carnivorous reptomammals originating from the planet of Tatooine. Not even Jabba would pay to move one of those from one planet to the next, if that were even possible. Or maybe he did. I’d ask Stew but it’s really not all that important.

Anywho, here is the Rancor scene in Return of the Jedi, using the music from Jaws.

Rancor Music

The track is called “Star Wars Episode VI Soundtrack – Luke Confronts Jabba/Den of the Rancor/Sarlacc Sentence” from the CD Return of the Jedi: The Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (Special Edition)

The Rancor’s Keeper

Malakili

His name is Malakili, and he takes care of the Rancor in Jabba‘s Palace. He was played by actor Paul Brooke. Apparently, Chris Farley had yet to be discovered.

Kenner’s Malakili – Rancor Keeper Action Figure

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Gentle Giant Rancor Statue

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As far as I can tell, the best Rancor statue ever made was by Gentle Giant, which is surprising because Sideshow Collectibles, which normally outdoes Gently Giant, only made a lousy bust for nearly the same price.

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Here’s another cool one. Studio Oxmox made Keeper’s Pet, a 12-inch Rancor.

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Analysis of the Rancor

Pros: He’s a big devilish beast from the Star Wars universe.

Cons: He was killed rather quickly by a Jedi Knight who didn’t even use Jedi powers to kill him. It was the ole’ slam-the-door-on-his-head trick. And he died when the door fell on him. Huh? That wouldn’t have killed the Balrog.

Balrog

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The One Wiki to Rule Them All talks a whole lot about Balrogs and not just the one that appears in Moria in Fellowship of the Rings. J.R.R. Tolkien wrote about several, and Peter Jackson’s version engulfs the beast in flames. So what is it, exactly? Let’s just say… it’s a demon.

Watch the Balrog fight Gandalf:

Balrog Music

There is no real ‘Balrog’ theme music but here is the music to The Bridge of Khazad Dum, which is a part of the track ‘Moria’ on The Lord Of The Rings: Fellowship Of The Ring (The Complete Recordings).

Check out Gunaxin’s Coolest Balrog Stuff, which includes products that are currently sold out and only sometimes available for high prices on auction sites. Or, you can look below at the coolest Balrog stuff that you can still buy.

The Balrog Legendary Scale Bust
Sideshow Collectibles

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At 22 inches high and limited to 1,000, this is the ultimate Balrog Bust (as opposed to wall-hanging). Despite the popularity of Balrog items, the $400 price tag has been too steep for most collectors so it is still available.

‘The Duel of Light and Fire’ – Gandalf vs. Balrog
Sideshow Collectibles
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How great is this? An action statue of Gandalf taking it to the Balrog. There’s also one made from faux-bronze.

Balrog Statue – Flame of Udun
Sideshow Collectibles

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This is also a Sideshow Collectibles full-bodied Balrog, but smaller than the original, which has long since sold out and quadrupled in value. It would have been much cooler had the wings expanded.

Balrog Wall Mount
Gentle Giant

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It’s not big, but it’s a bit deeper than it looks and will satisfy your Balrog-on-the-wall needs without disappointment.

Analysis of the Balrog
balrogPros: He’s made of flame, and has a flaming whip and sword. He has no keeper. He’s not Jabba’s pet.
Cons: Gandalf killed him pretty easily, right?

Final Analysis

This is no match. The Balrog should easily defeat the Rancor in a fight. However, Star Wars fanboys outnumber Lord of the Rings fanboys, so the Rancor may stand a chance if people stick to voting for which movie they like better, as opposed to the actual damn question.

[poll id="232"]

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