The Most Embarassingly Accurate and Entertaining Show on TV
That up there is the title card for a British kids TV show called Horrible Histories. We know what you’re thinking, “A kids show? Come on Gunaxin, I haven’t given up on life that hard, well, not yet anyway.” But the show has actually gotten more awards and praise than a Breaking Bad spinoff starring the ghost of Heath Ledger.
But the main reason you should watch it is because it’s one of the most accurate TV shows ever commissioned, doling out facts faster than Cracked.com on well, crack. Seriously, here’s the history of America in five fucking minutes.
The last person on-screen to tell you that much information that fast with that much enthusiasm was when Liam Neeson threatened to beat half of Europe to death with his bare hands in Taken, and he had the benefit of being Liam Neeson. If knowledge really is power then this show is basically Superman on shark steroids, which for some reason, Google image search was unable to find an image of. Your move, internet.
With PBS currently teetering on the receiving end of a political shotgun, TV shows that actually want to teach you something other than how to avoid making terrible lifestyle choices (we’re looking at you Honey Boo Boo) are at risk. So you owe it to yourself to stock up on as much tasty knowledge as possible, so when it comes to quoting facts over lunch you can impress people with the size of your knowledge penis. Like telling them “Stonewall” Jackson was actually a narcoleptic idiot/military genius.
Come on, grow your knowledge penis, you know you want to.