Celebrity Endorsements in the 2012 Presidential Race
In America, celebrity and fame carries about as much weight and clout as anything else, and no one stops to think about how foolish that really is because in general we’re all too busy worshiping at the altar of our favorite movie stars, singers, and athletes.
So it’s no surprise that people tend to put a lot of stock in the opinions of their favorite celebrities. After all, these are the people who tell us which shoes and soft drinks to buy. If you can’t trust a celebrity to give you an unbiased opinion on something, who can you trust?
Here is a rundown of who some of your favorite – or maybe not so favorite – “celebrities” are voting for today…
- Kid Rock: Mitt Romney
In case you were unaware, his name is Kid...Kid Rock. And he's voting for Mitt Romney. This will come in handy whenever Mitt invents a time machine and goes back to the 1990's.
- Axl Rose: Barack Obama
If anyone knows a thing or two about efficiency and getting things done when it comes to (Chinese) democracy, it's Axl Rose. He'll probably have his vote cast by about 2026 at this point.
- Scott Baio: Mitt Romney
Joanie loves Chachi, but apparently Chachi loves Mormons. We can see the appeal too, considering Baio famously threw his wang into every woman in America as a teen heart throb, so the concept of multiple wives probably sounds pretty appealing to him.
- Fran Drescher: Barack Obama
If Barack is trying to wrap up the annoying, shrill, washed up actress demographic, he's off to a damn good start by securing The Nanny's vote.
- Lindsay Lohan: Mitt Romney
In fairness, she probably confused Mitt with Dubya and thought she could score some really good blow from him if she promised her vote.
- Miley Cyrus: Barack Obama
Dang ol' Miley Cyrus, man, she gon' do the vote thang with the polls, and she likes that black fella a whole lot, man.
- Jenna Jameson: Mitt Romney
There has been concern about voter fraud, so it's a good thing Mitt has Jenna Jameson on his side. After all, if anyone knows how to manipulate a pole, it's her.
- Lisa Ann: Barack Obama
The Democratic party will see the GOP's Jenna Jameson and raise it with the chick who played infamously portrayed Sarah Palin in a porno. Check and mate (emphasis on mate), Republican party.
- Erik Estrada: Mitt Romney
This one is a little surprising to us, considering Estrada's Latin heritage. Also surprising is the fact that someone actually cared enough to ask him who he is voting for.
- Sinbad: Barack Obama
Honestly, we're just as surprised as you are that Sinbad is actually still alive.
- Donald Trump: Mitt Romney
We wanted to make some sort of hilarious challenge to Donald Trump, but nothing could ever possibly top the one Stephen Colbert issued. Either way, you just know that the Donald's entire year will be made or broken by his chance to potentially say "You're fired" on a horrible YouTube video if Barack does not get re-elected.
- Honey Boo Boo: Barack Obama
Now this one is important because education is so important to Obama, and clearly few people care more about education than Honey Boo Boo's family and the people who watch that show every week.
- Vince McMahon: Mitt Romney
Seriously, shouldn't Vince McMahon and Donald Trump just get together and go bowling already? The only real difference between the two is that Vince has much better hair, and Donald will probably beat him in their race to hell.
- CM Punk: Barack Obama
We don't really know his political leanings, but we can guarantee that at least part of his decision to support Barack Obama had to be an eff you to Vinnie Mac.
- Heidi Montag: Mitt Romney
Shockingly a fake, privileged, spoiled little rich kid is voting for a guy like Mitt Romney. Who could have guessed?
- Mariah Carey: Barack Obama
When you're a big ball of crazy, both candidates are probably hoping you endorse the other guy. Alas, Obama lost out on this little round of rock, paper, scissors.
And hey, speaking of big balls of crazy...
- Gary Busey: Mitt Romney
Frankly, we're surprised that Obama was unable to secure Gary Busey and wrap up the crazy eyed old guy vote, considering Joltin' Joe Biden is a charter member of that group.
- Perez Hilton: Barack Obama
This is one of those times when you're asking yourself questions like, would you rather have the backing of Paris Hilton or Perez Hilton? And who the hell is Perez Hilton?
- Cindy Crawford: Mitt Romney
Alright, this one hurts for the Dems. One of the most beautiful women the world has ever seen and one of our first and biggest celebrity crushes has decided to cast her vote for Mitt Romney. How on earth can the Democratic party possibly recover?
- Morgan Freeman: Barack Obama
Oh, right. This is how.
Apparently, the God has spoken, and he's voting for Barack Obama.