“But Wait: There’s More!” – The Greatest Pitchmen
Sitting on the couch after a night of debauchery, you’ve doubtless seen them. Struggling to catch those much needed Z’s at 3 a.m., you’ve watched an ad or two. In fact during a regular night’s broadcast these guys can be seen shilling everything from car wax to cutlery and they make a bucket-load of money doing it. Why? Because people buy. Deep down we all know we’re never really going to use a foot-scraping egg or a lifetime supply of adhesive bonding compound, but it makes no difference when one of these over-enthusiastic fellows promotes the product: our wallets are open for business. I’ll be the first to admit that I, too, have purchased a Sham-Wow and you know what? They actually do work… sort of. Now, even without the happenstance on one of these infomercials, you can watch two of the greatest in the biz (Billy Mays and Anthony Sullivan) hard at work on the show Pitchmen on the Discovery Channel. And I’ll tell you what: it is fascinating what these guys and their production crew go through just to get an item on the air! I highly recommend it. And so, with that, here are the ten greatest pitchmen of all time.
Bob Bowersox and his Closet Organizer
This guy was literally the only reason to watch QVC back in the day. He could sell porn to a nun.
Shawn Leflar and Tom O’Dell – The Deadly Swords
I used to watch these two morons all the time just hoping one of the two would wound themselves. My wish came true.
Chef Tony with the Miracle Blade
Boy, for a Chef (and I am one) this guy sure does things ass backwards. Also, news flash, this knife sucks.
Mike Levey – Amazing Discoveries
Bow down to the power of the sweater!
If half of what this poster child for Ritalin is talking about worked, we’d all be in prison.
Vince Offer slapping the Slap Chop
I’ve had horrid, vivid, lucid nightmares with creatures not even remotely as frightening as this guy.
Ed Valenti – The man behind Ginsu
I wanna see these guys chop through a Buick.
This guy owns one of the following, thanks to his infomercial career: a plane, a boat, at least 3 pricey cars. Seriously.
Billy Mays: one of the Original Oxy Clean ads
I could, quite literally, listen to this guy read me the phone book.
Ron Popeil – Making pasta at home
The master. Fifty years and counting. My grandmother bought his rotisserie. It’s in the box in the basement.
Cathy Mitchell and the amazing LePresse
Ok, where’s the Chef Wizard? I have one and I’m draining something right now…