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Bob Ross: Behind the Soothing Voice

By (@karlsmallwood) on September 28th, 2012

Bob Ross, as well as owning perhaps the greatest afro ever seen on a white man, also owned a voice so smooth and silky, cigarettes reportedly turned to honey the second they touched his lips.

If you ever watched his show as a youngster or more likely, as a stoned adult, you’ll know Ross’ voice is capable of sending you to a happy place, full of clouds. Seriously, it’s rumored that if he and Morgan Freeman ever spoke to each other they’d cause the room they were standing in to explode. But it wasn’t always like that, because you see Ross was a military man in his youth, by which we mean he was the guy who screamed at recruits. We’re talking some Full Metal Jacket level shit here.

Sometimes I’ll just straight cut a bitch.

Yes, unbelievably before Ross was showing you the fancy, artistic way to draw dongs. He was in a career where he literally screamed at people for not making a toilet clean enough to eat out of. Strangely, Ross didn’t enjoy this job and when he left the air force he vowed to never scream again.

“I was the guy who makes you scrub the latrine, the guy who makes you make your bed, the guy who screams at you for being late to work,” he said. “The job requires you to be a mean, tough person. And I was fed up with it. I promised myself that if I ever got away from it, it wasn’t going to be that way any more.”

At this moment Cthulu was sated and granted Ross a voice composed of pure audible chocolate to do with as he pleased, which he decided to give to the world for free. No really he did, all of his shows, he didn’t take a wage for any of them, he really was just in it for the Joy of Painting.

We’ll leave you with a quote from the man and a clip of his show, because sometimes you just need to step back and realize that the world is awesome, thanks Bob.

“That’s why I paint. It’s because I can create the kind of world that I want, and I can make this world as happy as I want it. Shoot, if you want bad stuff, watch the news.”

Karl Smallwood

Karl Smallwood

Find more of Karl's writing at his own website.
Karl Smallwood

@karlsmallwood

Writer of fact based lists, lover of fine wines effect on women and internet comedian.
When Zubats annoy me I catch one, give it a stupid nickname and then release it. Just so it has to live the rest of its life as "Shit Lord" - 9 hours ago

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